"As I’m getting ready to move to another state and begin networking from square one, I’m realizing that I need to deal with an alias problem. I use “Elizabeth” in any sort of print form, physical or digital. It’s my business email, personal email, signature, business cards, website bio, everything. Even my personal Facebook profile is Elizabeth.
The thing is that NOBODY calls me that. Not even my family (they actually call me Beth, but that’s beside the point).
This has never been a huge issue, as many people pick up that Elizabeth = Liz, but then I had to throw a wrench in the works by spelling it L-y-z. I have always felt that Elizabeth is more professional, but then I get people asking what I go by, and when I tell them “Lyz” and they see it written down, they then ask me if that’s really how I spell it, etc.
I suppose my question is, is this causing a subconscious disconnect or credibility issue? Do I need to start making sure that the name on my printed/web materials is what people actually call me? Or is this a non-issue and I can continue using Elizabeth in writing and Lyz in speech? I suppose I wouldn’t worry as much about image if I spelled Liz like any perfectly rational Elizabeth out there, but the combination of a nickname and alternative spelling makes me cautious about using it professionally (although I had noticed a while back that my name had been changed to Lyz on the PowerCore site, which I found interesting…)"
Congratulations to you, Elizabeth, for having a personal style sheet.
For knowing that your name, for eyes, is Elizabeth; and for ears, is Lyz.
Your question doesn’t ask what the rules of etiquette instruct. Etiquette says that if you prefer Elizabeth, you introduce yourself as Elizabeth and when someone addresses you as Lyz you respond with a smile and the words, “I prefer Elizabeth,” or “I use Elizabeth professionally.”
Etiquette gives you the choice.
Your question is about the credibility benefits of a more formal name, and the risk of disconnect from people who don’t immediately understand your personal style sheet.
For three reasons I think you should continue this system.
- It’s your choice. It’s what makes you most comfortable. Your comfort, in a new situation, will increase your credibility.
- People will get it. And if they don’t you can have a conversation. (More about that in the next post.)
- Since 2005 it’s been clear that
People do business with people who like them.
Read that again.
The 1980s mantra was, “People do business with people they like.”
In the 1990s it was updated to, “People do business with people they like, and people who are like them.” But Dr. Titziana Casciaro’s research documented in the Harvard Business Review showed clearly that in our generation: people do business with people who like them. And that, I believe, is the real benefit you get from using two names. When you share your verbal name, Lyz, you are telling the person you like them enough to let them in on this difference. You like them, and so you’re telling them something special, something unique about you. When you say, with a handshake and a smile, “I’m Elizabeth Klein; my friends always call me Lyz—I spell it Ly-z—and I do hope we’ll be friends,” you’re telling this new acquaintance you like them (how cool is that) and giving permission for them to refer to you as a friend.
Now I’m going to argue for and against each of your concerns.
Elizabeth is more credible.
There are several ways to gain presence.
One is by the way you are addressed.
If you are very small, or your voice is high, or quiet, or your skin and hair are both extremely pale, you’ll use presence to avoid being ignored.
The three syllables of Elizabeth contain color and texture. England has the queens Elizabeth; in the United States we have the celebrity royal Elizabeth Taylor. Elizabeth is, de facto, a referral activator — a stimulator that makes people think … of someone else. And that lets me argue against you using it.
Elizabeth is less credible.
As you begin making a name for your self in a new place, you want people who have a network in place to easily and quickly have a place for you in their mental filing system. If you’re selling coronation accouterments or hoping for an Oscar, Elizabeth will automatically invoke confirmation bias: subconscious proof that you must be good.
But if you’re not in either of those arenas, confirmation bias is forcing first impressions away from you, and giving you other subtle connotations to prove wrong. None of us is without something to address, though, and as these things go, this is minor. If you like Elizabeth, use it.
Lyz is more credible.
Another way to invoke presence and place of mind is to be one-of-a-kind.
Lyz is unique.
I have 15,724 people in my database, you’re the only Lyz. People think unique is special. Creative. Different. Those are benefits.
This spelling twist makes it natural for people to remember your name, and to have something to say when they talk about you or introduce you. With a big “Lyz” on a Hello My Name Is tag you’ll be easy to point out across a room, and easy for people to talk about afterward. These are valuable attributes. Unless …Lyz is less credible.
If you’re in an industry (say accounting, or finance) where deviation carries the taint of dishonesty, this is absolutely something to consider. (A CPA complained that he wasn’t getting referrals. When I asked three Team Members about referrals for him they each responded that his tag line, used weekly, was “CPA stands for Constant Pain in the A**” and said their clients would want a CPA they enjoyed working with—hence, not him.)
Using Elizabeth in print and Lyz in person is confusing.
Yes.
It is.
Because people want to please you, and since they don’t have a personal style sheet, they aren’t likely to intuit that you’re most comfortable with two names.
Take me changing your name in the PowerCore database and website:
No one working in the office has met you.
They know you only by the name you wrote on your application. (I’m speaking to you, about you, but you might intuit from my passion that this is a MUCH larger problem from a database standpoint than just you!) So if you phone in and refer to yourself as Lyz, or if I ask Amanda to set an appointment with Lyz, or you sign in at Orientation as Lyz, or if you’re frustrated because you can’t log in to the website, or if you need a receipt for membership, it takes a couple of extra beats for us to serve you. And those beats are confusing, and confusion is frustrating. Not an attitude you want attached to you.
This is a recurring situation.
There are myriad examples.
And that single fact means …
Using Elizabeth in print Lyz in person is not too confusing.
People can figure it out.
And the figuring makes you more memorable.
Can you give an actual example where using both has been detrimental? Can you give more than one example?
More than one a year? If not, then I don’t think this is a valid argument.
Do you have some obligations to mitigate confusion. Yes. Will they be worth it. Profitably!