Boundaries are not about what people say No to. They are about what people say Yes to. Not least because positive conversations are more fun than negative ones. So I make boundaries about what somebody DOES do.

I used this approach with Melanie’s process, she knew she had to get less involved with her employees, but still guide and motivate them. I started with everything Melanie would say yes to. It was the first time she felt she could do less without being negative about it. Now when she meets with employees she never tells them what to do, but instead asks them what they are planning. At their January kick off meeting, her team showed up with flowers and a thank you note for being a supportive boss.

I’m a referral for Dr Bennie who named her dental practice after her daughter. She wants her employees to stay forever. Ask her what their number one strength is.